I quickly have to rant about these terrible ads that Olive Garden has been spamming all over my television programs.  First off, why do they need to try and be funny?  Why not just say, “All you can eat pasta is here/back” and then show some people ordering and eating the pasta?  Show some of the combinations, explain what someone can order, explain the promotion.

Why do they need to have some guy saying, “I did the math on this never ending pasta combination, and there’s 42 different possibilities!” And then the lame comeback by his friend, “While you’re doing the math, I’m doing the marinara.” Or whatever the hell they say.  What the hell Olive Garden?  How is that funny or needed?  Then you finish up the awesome commercial with, “Wow math has never tasted so good” <input canned laughter>.   I seriously would have told whoever that was at my table that their talking privileges have been revoked.

This is what you do, Olive Garden V.P. of Marketing: STOP THE CURRENT COMMERCIALS AND FIRE WHOEVER MADE THOSE DECISIONS.  Return to informing your customers about your food, with close-ups of pasta.  That is what is going to get people to come there.  Did you do any focus group testing on this advertising?  How much money did you waste by throwing these horrible commercials into TV land?

Better yet, let me give you the phone number of my girlfriend who is great at Marketing, and she’ll quickly inform you all how retarded your ads have been.  Finally, let’s just focus on what works for food/restuarant companies, showing what kind of food you have and the promotions on those items, and ignore the fact that everyone else does funny ads, because it doesn’t work for you.